Weekend Gratitudes

Hello. More gratefulness coming at ya:

  1. I posted on FB today that I was going to the local play place and did anyone want to join? I got a text from a buddy nearby just as we were leaving and her and her son came over to ours and played all day! The kids loved it. The mummies loved it. We had coffee, and had lunch, then got covered in mud at the park and had wine and spent all day chatting about nothing that I can remember and it just felt so NORMAL. Maybe I’m the only one, but life seems so conveyer belt-like at times (work, kids, facebook check, homework, second career, facebook check, tweet, kids, kids activities, scheduled sex, wiping toddler poop butts) that idle days laughing and talking with friends are pretty rare. I expect some people spend every weekend hanging out in a haze of mummy friends, but to me it felt luxurious.
  2. I’ve been watching with a kind of sad caution recently as my eight-year-old turns from child to tween before my very eyes. It’s cool but also (like every parent on the planet) I wonder where the time went, and most of all I wonder if I spent it in the right way. Again, like most parents I work full-time and I often feel like I missed a good chunk of my eldest’s childhood. I’ve been off and on glum recently that I’ve missed it. It’s gone. And I was too busy working for the man to really dive in appreciate it. However, today at the play place filled with toddlers and train sets and stickle bricks and princess costumes he played like a toddler too. Except minus the black tantrums he used to throw when he was three. All in all, it’s all good. He’s still a little boy. Even though he’s a big little boy.
  3. I got a message from my sister today that my Dad had ‘rushed on a hunt for the paper’ when he heard I was in it. I’m not talking about the NY Times here, I’m talking about our dinky little 12k circulation home town paper that I did an interview with last week. My parents aren’t the type to stand at the forefront of everything I do with a couple of poms poms shouting “Ra Ra Yes You Are… Awesome” or anything, but on the balance of things, they are more or less supportive of all the stuff I get up to. And that’s kind of cool. I thought parents being supportive was just a given growing up, but now I see that a lot of people don’t get that from their folks. I’m lucky.
  4. My eldest has ADHD. Some days it’s all very very hard, but today wasn’t bad at all. I take days like today and put them in my pocket, so I can take a nibble on them later when the going gets rough and he’s back to tearing the shower curtain off its rail.
  5. The pizza guy rang the door bell this evening and the explosion of activity that went off in the house at the sound of the doorbell actually seemed hilarious instead of highly stressful like normal. The dog yapping,  eldest child yapping too, the youngest screaming “POLICE!”. Instead of alarmed, I could see it how the pizza guy must see it and I was mildly amused.
  6. The dude is putting BOTH kids to bed tonight so I can go out. It’s a b’day party with a group of people I don’t know that well and it may or may not be fun, but out is out. For a 40-year-old mum of two a night, out at a wine bar with a group of other semi-known mums is the equivalent of a 24-year-old’s week in Vegas.
  7. So I went out. Yay. And it was fun. Socializing doesn’t always come smoothly for me so there ups and there were downs. I get paranoid hours afterward that I said stupid things. But minus the paranoia and the sticky social parts, I had a good time. And I think I’ve got a little group of mommy friends brewing up in my town. Yay me!
  8. At the party I talked to a woman who’s studying to be a hypnotist. She said she needs to do 200 free hours as part of her training and I put my hand right up for that one. Hypnosis is not all watching a pendulum and pretending to be  chicken, it’s basically about teaching you how to relax and get out of the way of yourself so you can get on with the life you’re supposed to be living. That’s something I’m working on right now so this opportunity comes at a super duper time.
  9. As I was walking to the bar where the party was, inside someone’s window I saw a child playing on an old-fashioned rocking horse. Writing this out now, this all starts to sound like the beginning of a slasher movie but in the moment it was very sweet. I suddenly remembered a rocking horse from my childhood. The motion when sitting on it. The bushy tail, the pale dappled skin, the red corduroy reins. Pretty cool.
  10. Last gratitude for the day – it’s now Sunday morning and the kids are playing quietly (for once.) I woke up putting the intentions out there for a peaceful day with the kids so maybe I’ll get it.

Medieval Tunics and Dental Pain

  1. Dental pain. That’s right, I’m grateful for the dental pain I’m currently experiencing. I had braces fitted a few months ago and they are THE WORST. According to my dentist, my crappy British teeth are all misaligned and sunken in like an old horse so unless I wanted to be sucking on grey gruel at the age of 57, braces are needed. They’ve been on for months and nothing’s happened. My teeth appear to have been made of cement. However, she recently put a bunch of springs in there, like I’m some kind of defective clock, but now those suckers are shifting…. Finally. Hence the pain. And hence the gratitude. More pain = fixed teeth.
  2. Change. I’m grateful for change. Most people hate change as is the way of the human, but I like it. Change can be rough (see 2016) but it can also be transformative – which of course is all kind of tied up the in the word CHANGE. In the 1900s teenager girls were dying after getting burned in cotton factory’s with no fire escapes and shit but now they have iPhones and medication to help them with their acne. The world today always seems like it’s a bit crap. But really, stuff is changing and mostly for the better.
  3. English TV. I don’t watch much TV but what I do watch is normally English. The English do TV brilliantly. I’m sure you can think of one million examples of your own but let’s quickly rattle off a few: Black Mirror. Sherlock Holmes. The Office. Cold Feet. Doctor Who. It goes on and on. Why are the English so good at TV? Probably all those years on an island with fewer invaders than the average community in mainland Europe was having to deal with at the time. I mean, they got invaded a lot. But surely not as much as everyone else was having to put up with. Plus rain all the time. What’s to do? No battles to fight. Don’t want to get your medieval tunic wet. Stay inside by the fire and tell a story.
  4. I met a man in the elevator this morning who was practically bouncing into work. He greeted everyone in there with large-scale exuberance – including the cleaner. He was almost bursting with his joy for the day ahead. And then he accidentally hit the alarm button on the elevator as he was swinging his bags around and for whatever reason, that sent him into a spiral of despair. The whole thing was amusing to watch if nothing else. Be nice to cleaners y’all.
  5. I wore a black bra to work under a pale pink shirt today. I didn’t realize this would be an issue until I saw it in the mirror in the bathrooms. And why is this on the gratitude list? Because I realized I didn’t care… Because I’m almost 40 and I don’t care if people are judging me for a poor choice of dark-colored bra. I just don’t.
  6. Clinque products! A great huge box of them arrived by my boss’ desk this afternoon and I was allowed to help myself! Sent by someone who works in the NY office – you don’t need the whole backstory here, but the big deal is: FREE CLINQUE PRODUCTS! About as much as I could get my hands on and a whole new sparkly bag to put them in. (The makeup bag they came with literally was sparkling with rhinestones) I was so buzzing with gratitude that I decided that in order to be the most grateful I should use all these products immediately. So instead of hoarding them and then forgetting about them, or maybe filtering them in one by one when my old products finally turned to dust, I threw out all my old stuff and started using all the new Clinque stuff IMMEDIATELY. Yesterday I was just a girl with an old makeup bag from the 90s and moisturizer purchased at CVS. Now I have a brand new rhinestone embellished makeup bag brimming with Clinque!  #americaatitsbest
  7. So I have a free little library outside my home that I installed a couple of years ago. It’s pretty cool. I get to gawk at people who are gawking at the books and then send the dog out to see them off it they stay too long. (Oh, I’m kidding…) So I went to check my library when I got home from work and someone had put a book in about GRATITUDE! Just a day after a started this blog! So I got all grateful for the gratitude book that was obviously sent by the gratitude Gods who have been reading this blog about gratitude and now I’m writing about it on my gratitude blog and it’s just a sweet little circle of grateful I’ve got going on here. I’m yet to read the book. I think the writer dies of cancer at the end. But I think when he’s writing it he’s frequently grateful he’s not dead quite yet. Though he has been given two months to live at the start of the book I believe. It’s quite a short book. If he can find the grateful in that then I’m sure we can all dig up a little bit of grateful in our own filthy lives.
  8. I’m grateful for my new audio book that I listen to everyday during my two-hour commute. I always listen to books on my commute. Sometimes they are brilliant, but about half the time they suck it. This one is one of the good ones. Oh – It’s The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman. Buy it people.
  9. My publisher. I read an interview with the Editorial Director of my imprint today (I write novels btw) and it was awesome. The most awesome thing about it was that I realized that the type of fiction she likes to publish is exactly the type of fiction I like to write. Which is obviously why they publish me, but for the first time, maybe ever, I read the lengthy description of the type of books they like to publish (which was a perfect example of the books I like to write) and I thought: I found it. I found the place where I belong. For once I’m not trying to rework myself to be something else that someone needs me to be in order to be functional in their generic situation. I can do exactly what it is that I’m doing and it’s… right. Exactly right for this exact situation. And that really was a massive gift. Just to be me, and for someone to see that and say “Oh, yes. That’s rather odd but very specific way of being, is EXACTLY what I was looking for in a human. I’ll take two.”
  10. My hometown paper did a little article on my novel! My mum texted me all in a flutter because she had ‘reporters’ on the phone and didn’t know what she should and shouldn’t say. Maybe she’s confusing me with someone else cause I don’t really have a whole lot of dark foreboding secrets that Must Not Be Divulged. And then my best friend from when I was five emailed me (I call her cornfield Emma – because hometown = cornfields – right?) to say that her mum and seen the article though she hadn’t read it herself. That’s about the extent of it, but kind of nice mini slice of infamy and definitely one for the gratitude list.

Gratitude 1.5.17

One day, things like this will be banned from the internet, because this is basically me putting my journal online in lieu of buying a cute lockable one from Barnes and Noble and filling that up – convenient for me, good for the trees but surely a waste of the precious space that is the internet. The internet seems to be vast limitless thing right now but surely one day won’t it get clogged up with crap like this?

Well. Until that time, here’s my ten Gratitudes for the day:

  1. A nice chill evening with the Youngest Child. Youngest Child is pretty chill. Eldest Child is a bundle of tragic frantic anger and despair and is spending the night with his step-grandmother. He was supposed to go to Disneyland today but that got rained out. Oh well, there’s always another day tomorrow – another day to stay with your step-grandmother. Bwa ha ha…
  2. I almost can’t remember what I had for dinner. But I feel like it was really good. Oh yes, now I remember, In and Out. Oh man there’s very little in the world that will satisfy you so totally for under $5.
  3. The new crappers at work. We recently moved to a new office building (hassle) but it’s actually turned out ok. The toilets instead of now being in weird half covered stalls where the door would randomly fly open when someone on the other side of the office turned the printer on, now actually close. And cover you up. I mean you have no idea who’s in the stall next door – and believe me when I say that is a blessing. Mind you someone was very obviously having a happy time with their golden flower in the stall next to me yesterday and I’ve no idea who that was. And it would have been intriguing to know. For no other reason than to see the scandal on HR’s face when I grassed the offender up.
  4. A beer. I just drunk a nice beer leftover from our NY party and it was super mellow. I’ve been drinking waaaay too much wine recently and I miss beer. It was nice to be friends with a beer today.
  5. My OH is putting Youngest Child to bed. Bath. Pjs. Hair. Story. Etc. He does this almost every night. I’ve been told that most women don’t get this. I’m pretty lucky.
  6. Rain. It’s raining today and has been raining off and on for the past week. I like the rain. There was a beautiful drip drip sound this morning when I was meditating and it was just a lovely lovely thing. Rain also means we can drink water and stuff so it’s really good to have around.
  7. Sex. The OH and I have decided to have SEX once a week. Seeing as we’ve been together forever and spend most of our time either working or child wrangling, this is a major achievement. To make it easy we decided to coincide SEX DAY with trash collection day. We might forget the sex but we won’t forget to put the trash cans out so it’s a good reminder. I’m not being ironic. It’s a good reminder. We’ve had two sessions of trash day sex now and it’s been great. I’m a woman with children so I’m not supposed to be interested in sex. But GUESS WHAT. I am…
  8. The NY. I’m grateful for the NY. Oh the flailing and gnashing 2016 brought. 2017 might be gearing up to be a real shiva of a shit festival but at least it’s not 2016 anymore.
  9. My birthday. I have a birthday coming up and I’m going to be 40. I’m supposed to be terrified of this. Especially as my last fuckable day is coming right up and as I’ve already revealed, I actually like sex! But I don’t have to worry about any of that because Trash Day Sex Rule – I’m golden. I’m just going to enjoy my birthday, eat cake, go to the spa, have sex (if it falls on a trash day) and maybe fart the fart of the 40 year old.
  10. This blog. What a cracking idea this was!


Gratitude 494

Hello Gratituders. Well. This is certainly very liberating. This is my own, total anonymous no-one-knows-who-I-am blog. Brilliant. This blog is basically going to be my own online journal (ooo scandalous) where I get to write out exactly what I feel and want to say without having to cater to anyone. Oh bliss. Everyday I’m going to write out 494 things I feel grateful for (hence Gratitude 494). Just kidding – 494 was the title WordPress spat out. I’m going to write ten things tops. But those ten will be all mine! Feel free to post your own ten too! xx